Wanting It All and Not Wanting To Wait

Back in November, I had my heart set on a car, a house, graduate school, and living happily ever after. I told Phil that if I could have it all, I would be driving my car towards our house into the the sunset of school success and family support. Or something like that. Basically, I was having a really hard time accepting that I couldn't just check off all of the items from my dream list with one single stroke.

Life isn't always like that. Sometimes it is a journey, whether that fits with our plans or not.

With school and the car taken care of, my sights have been set on the house. Then, there was a kink in the road. I just received some news that indicates that the loan that we qualified for, might not be what secures us the house. My mom says that the appraisal resulted in a higher interest rate than she was expecting. This means that we need more money up front than we were originally planning on. The amount needed pushes the house outside of our affordable range.

This is tough. I had my heart set on this house and all that it represented. House in the clouds shit.

So, what can I do here? Give up on the dream of the house or sit tight and look for other options? The reality is that I have gotten really good at dealing with the hurdles that life throws at me. I know that this whole ordeal has been a test of my heart and strength. I told my partner, Phil, and my sister, Heather, that I'm not stressed yet. I'm not stressed because I believe that this is the house for us. I don't want to give up hope yet and I believe that there has to be another way to make this happen.

From my experience, there has always been another way. Or, at the very least, this journey has taught me that though my plans don't always determine the course of the road, I need to keep hoping and dreaming just the same.

Trinity Mountains outside of Arcata http://www.wilderness.net/NWPS/enlargeAndDetails?id=2499