Fast forward. The e-mail said they were going to be sailing in for the weekend that I would be in Tonsai. I was so bummed, but I had plans to go out there for Jill's birthday and I couldn't back out. Turns out that they needed to get work done on the boat so their trip out to Phuket was extended through to the following weekend. I got a text on Monday and was psyched that we weren't going to miss each other after all. We went to a great restaurant in Phuket town, The Natural, complete with lady-boy servers - not planned to my knowledge, television sets that have been turned into fish tanks, and a pushy flower selling child who hustles the entire downtown area. My housemate, Geoff, after being subjected to this 12 year old's pouty and aggressive flower sale, commented "I have no problems hitting children, I work at a school!" (It's hilarious when Geoff gets worked up about anything because he has a sing songy English accent that makes him sound like Mary Poppins.)
So some delicious Thai eats, an inspiring eulogy about Arnold Schwarzenegger, arguments about free trade economics - haha, and a couple of beers later, we parted for the night with me signing on as official tour guide for the week. Even though I had to work during the day, the evenings were reserved for activities. Tuesday night was just the boys and I in Phuket town, sampling the variety of cheap beer options in awesome outdoor settings. (That's one of the best things about Thailand - my love of summer patio drinking back home is made possible year round out here by the great weather and open air architecture. Everything was relaxed and laid back with mood lighting and mini Thai bar girls pouring drinks all night. Rad.) Wednesday, I met Sheenagh, Alex, and Stephen in Kata and we went out for street noodles and "Big One's" Archa beer. Street noodles are so great and cheap, but I always make the mistake of getting too enthusiastic with the chili powders and sauces that they give you. My noodle soup typically turns orange with spice, I start sweating, my nose starts running, and to top it off, I get pepper parts all up in my teeth by the end of my meal. I can't resist 'em spices! Haha. Not my best look, yet still fantastic. Thursday night we were completely treated by Sheenagh and went for sundowners at this place called Jazztaurant. It is this beautiful restaurant that overlooks Karon and Karon bay and had been glowing up on the hill as we enjoyed our street noodles the night before, so we were eager to drive up there and check it out. Although uber swanky, the drive up the hillside to the restaurant is more like a roller coaster than a road. I was reminded of off roading on broken arrow road in Sedona - no jokes, it was practically vertical! The sunset happened to be spectacular and we enjoyed super expensive drinks on the balcony with Boys II Men and such serenading us in the background. Oh, Thailand. Sundowners turned into dinner and we were spoiled with some decadent feasting. I followed my mussel and pineapple curry with banana flambe while listening to our conversation derail with the topic of cheating athletes - thank you Tiger for giving Alex inspiration to drop a climactic line about old lady sex and buying a new walker for Grandma so she can take it. HAHAHAHA! This is in front of his mother that he drops that truth bomb. It was so hilarious and when Sheenagh left to use the restroom, Stephen and I, proceeded to rip Alex about the how he just took off running with that conversation (probably no thanks to Stephen) and in the future although joking, probably should keep it PG for the parents! I did also open a beer bottle with another beer, explained the correct procedure for taking Sake bombs, and then tried to pass it off as a cultural experience - the Sake bombs, not the beer opening. Between the three of us, we were making a good effort at shattering Sheenagh's reality.
Then things got messy. Friday night, I decided it was time to instigate poor decision making. I invited some Phuket friends over to our balcony for drinks and we had a little kick back. Alex and Stephen arrived a little later and then with my housemates, a "ring of fire" drinking game, friends with Tequila shots, and my friend, Robin - little miss trouble (actually a very muscular South African man who got the nickname during our trip to Bangkok when we had "Games Night" on Koh San road and Robin won a chugging contest and as the winner - no real logic here - had to squeeze into a miniature 100 baht tank top we bought on the street with a cartoon character and the words "Little Miss Trouble" across the front of it.) and a bottle of port - things got hectic. Around 1:30 we decided to make our way to Laguna - a bar that feels like a miniature Patong - meaning it is filled with top 40 songs, bar girls, and Muay Thai men. After dancing aggressively, falling a lot, losing my glasses - twice, and Alex being chatted up by a lady boy, we are driving up to my house at 5:30 in the morning when Robin shouts - "Let's go to Patong!" I hadn't even blinked and my buddy, Dave, had bailed from the vehicle and bolted for his life - knowing better than all of us what a terrible idea driving to Patong right then would be. Well, we drove to Patong, Robin and Alex passed out, Stephen and I put our feet in the water, and pulled a Dumb & Dumber moment - "Big Gulps, huh? Whelp, see you later." We drove back to Chalong around 7 a.m. What a night.
Round 2: Patong proper. Yes my friend, I went to Patong two nights in a row. That's like doing 1 week in Vegas, because Patong is like Vegas' bastard child that gets its kicks with meth, bargain prices, and nakedness. "Whipping, smacking, spanking!" The Hangover II, though it makes a good honest attempt, doesn't fully capture the utter craziness of Thailand. We made it back by 6 a.m. Oh, and then when I got home, I tried to cook up pasta - I was drunk and lazy and figured that I wanted to add salt, garlic, and pepper to my pasta....so when I pulled out garlic salt from the cabinet - I thought, "two eggs with one spoon". BAHahaha.... I was just listening to my housemates and that's what I accidentally typed. Word. Two eggs with one spoon.
Ended the weekend with a book, the beach, and the sunset as the cherry on top. It was fantastic having Alex and Stephen in town - it really felt like having family around. Now, I've got a week of relaxing and detox before my friend, Erica, gets here from the U.S. I absolutely can not wait and my liver gets further and further from the recovery plan. sigh.
Epic sunset and great end to the weekend.
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