Chapter 1: I'm serious. Focaccia bread. Gourmet Tuna Salad. Lettuce, green peppers, tomato, and onion. Finally, honey dijon mustard and spicy Italian dressing. It is amazing and let's be honest for a second - when you live in a country where rice is a staple in every meal....EVERY meal (yes, dessert included)...bread is just about the greatest treat on the planet. For those who are looking to splurge a little bit (compared to $1 meals), this 100 baht ($3) delicacy from the Sandwich Shoppe basically brings me back to life on weekend mornings and gives me my western meal kick when I'm going through a craving for bread or cheese. A friend of mine suggested that I try going to France for my next big adventure, just because I am being deprived of wine, cheese, and bread here in Thailand, and maybe I will, but until then I'm obsessed with this sandwich. It's a funny thing though, because I literally go and have the same thing every time - I've never been this kind of person! I've never been the kind of person that goes to a place multiple times a week and orders the same damn thing. I thought I was a girl of variety and spontaneity! Nay; for this sandwich I'm committed.
Yes, if you are at this point in the post, I did just say "Nay" and also, you will never get the time that you spend reading this post back. Hah! Sorry! What it is.
Chapter 2: I met someone awhile back who I naturally started talking to about music. I am a lover of music, thus it is one of my favorite things to talk about. On this occasion, however, the individual I was conversing with began professing a love of a 90's...well late 90's and early 2000's rock band that many of us also know and love. This band goes by the name Blink 182.
Regardless! So, this person continued to divulge his love of Blink 182 with such conviction and passion that I was literally taken aback by it. He straight up didn't want to hear anything else except Blink 182 melodies. I was stunned! Now, I love music across a wide spectrum, but due to the kick that I'm on, I am usually trying to convince people to embrace electronic music. Not for this guy. I followed his 40 minute oratory with two responses. First, to make light of the situation, (I mean, dude, he was absolutely serious), I said that I felt like he had shared something deeply personal with me. Hah! It really felt like it! Then, I said that I honestly wished that I loved anything as much as he loved Blink 182. At the time, I was feeling a little down, and I literally couldn't think of a single thing that I felt equally passionate about. It was a funny moment, but it was also a little bit of a "oh shit" moment, because I was faced by the fact that I was getting down on haterade and didn't have anything in my life that compared to the level of admiration and passion this guy felt for a rock band. I couldn't tease him or jest about his sincerity, because he was as sincere as they come - as demonstrated through the way he conveyed his feelings. He believed, 100% for him, that Blink 182 was and would continue to be, the best band on the planet.
Yeah, word.
Chapter 3: At this point in my life, I've feel like I've done a little bit of living. Perhaps, a little bit of love-learning in the process and I've come out the other side as this cynical piece of shit. I like to joke that my heart is like a teddy bear covered in barbed wire or that I'm an ice queen - blah, blah, blah, but there was a time - for sure here in Thailand - that I have been completely down on love. Hey, maybe I am still jaded by the whole relationship train, but that's how it is. Over drinks a few months ago, this girl, Sarah, asked, kind of randomly, if I was dating at all. Her question caught me off guard and I laughed in her face. Then, I realized that she was asking me a question that warranted a response. I told her, rather lamely, "Honestly, that this year I've been on a date with...well...myself". That this year has been monumental for me and I've grown so much, but one of the biggest ways that I've grown and found myself is through being on my own; learning to be okay on my own. Sure, I'm a hopeless romantic deep down, but it has been interesting to see how this year has changed me, challenged me, tested me, and transformed me into the girl I am today.
I'm kind of joking about the sandwich. It is freaking delicious, but I have found since the Blink 182 conversation, that the level of love that I have in my life is monumental, that when it comes to romantic love, uhhhh...yeah, I'm still working on that one, but that this ol' heart will thaw out at some point. As for now, I'm bumping electro beats in my headphones, feeling settled in my skin, and am not wishing anymore.
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