Summer Birthday

Driving down my hill Sunday morning, the sun was shining brightly, the weather was warm and delicious, and I was filled with birthday anticipation, but I started feeling something else, also. I started to feel like this 8 year old just got a little older.

I remember when a good friend of mine turned 24 a few years ago. I remember it clearly, because I thought to myself, "shoot, 24 years old sounds old." I was twenty-two - what a youngin, right? Well, I couldn't really imagine being 24 then, but here I am. I call it a "golden birthday". (If you are thinking about R. Kelly in this moment...you cut that out.) It's a golden birthday because I turned 24 on the 24th of June! Interestingly, my sister also had her golden birthday this year, 21 on the 21st. Even more interestingly, my birthday happens to be all even numbers - 06/24/1988, while Heather's is made up of odd numbers - 01/21/1991. I like the symmetry.

But, I digress. Do you remember what it felt like, as a child, starting summer vacation? For me, it always meant butterflies. The figurative ones. (I may or may not be afraid of literal ones.) I remember exchanging goodbyes with class mates, making big plans, and looking forward to the uncertainty of the vacation months. The summer could be anything you wanted it to be - vast and infinite space to fill with a summer job, summer camp, free time for reading or "being bored", sports training, renewed friendships with neighborhood kids, family trips, or even the chance for summer romance. The summer was always romantic in my eyes.

I loved the opportunity for change that summer inspired, like the beginning of a new chapter. Though I had all of these plans for each new year - I'll do this...I'll be that...I'll try this...I'll find my way...I'll get straight A's...I'll finally talk to so-and-so...you know the drill - at the beginning of summer, it seemed like you had a chance to let go of all of the pressures and just get lost in the frivolity of the season. A new year would be around the corner, bringing new changes and challenges, but the chance to build forts, initiate neighborhood water wars, camp out in the backyard, and partake in general shenanigans, made me feel like the summer would last forever.

Though, not forever, forever. And, that's part of it too. I don't know how people do it all of their lives, but perpetual summer isn't all that it is cracked up to be. I believe that the summer seduces us because the winter is cold and the spring - bipolar, so then when summer finally hints at it's presence, promising warm weather and adventure, we can't help but get that giddy, expecting feeling. My birthday spearheaded all of this for me, however, in Phuket, "summer", like I've described from my childhood, doesn't exist.

Here, it is hard to get caught up in the emotions of seasons or months, because months don't really mark any changes and therefore, don't really matter. They all just all sort of blend together under a blanket of consistency. Weather teeters between a state of rain and island sun, never throwing blizzards or droughts or any of that North American climate stuff into the mix. Though it is gorgeous most of the time and I'm thrilled to have perfect beach weather, don't get me wrong, it doesn't always feel like summer. So, when I set off for birthday breakfast, imbibing sunshine and nostalgia, and I was hit with a feeling of summer, it really made my day. Summer! Finally! With all that has been happening in Phuket, everything is radiating summer.

This time of good byes exchanged with friends, birthday shenanigans, fantastic weather, and the whole turning 24 thing, has fused with anticipation for my trip back to America next month, the opportunity for change, the romance, the frivolity, and the uncertainty of summertime. Oh, "the uncertainty" has summer written all over it. It has "welcome to a new year" as the victory banner and 8 year old grins as the going look.

I just feel so darn giddy!

After breakfast, a group of us drove from the southern part of Phuket, up the winding coast, to the northern beaches. It was like a beach crawl, where we hit up all of the beaches as we cruised, jumped in the crashing waves, and shared drinks under the summer sun. Everything about it was fantastic and exactly what I wanted. With good friends, good times, and a little bit of exploration thrown in with it all, it was golden.

Sitting on the sand, facing summer and the setting sun, my head was caught in the webs of this last year. 23 was a very intense year. I wasn't always graceful and I had a lot of sorting out to do. Though each year is full of ups and down, I feel as though I learned a lot about myself and my abilities in the last 12 months and am starting to really get on my feet. It's something about the symmetry, but it's my golden birthday, and with a golden summer stretched out ahead of me, yes, my mind is filled with romanticized dreams of the next few months, but something about turning 24 no longer sounds old to me, it just sounds magical.